Game: Mafia II
Genre: Third-person shooter, action-adventure
System: Xbox 360
Review by: Desz
Sipping on a spritzer, cooking the gravy, watching Donny Brasco, are all indications of a true past time. Mafia 2 is what real man are looking for when looking for that one video game that is not too geeky or too childish to play. Pour yourself a drink, light up a cigar and get ready to experience the Italian Mob life like never before, Fuhgeddaboudit! (Review is written, recorded and put together in a narrative format using my best Italian accent….some what, Italian.)
Story: My name is Vito Scaletta born in Sicily in 1925 to a poor family that later migrated to America. For security purposes and because I don’t want to get wacked, I will use Empire Bay for the name of my city in the states. The move to America was nothing but a change of location. My family continued to struggle and I grew up learning nothing more than breaking a window and taking what was on the other side to make ends meet. I didn’t do it alone though; there wasn’t a day my good friend, Joe Barbaro wasn’t by my side causing havoc throughout the city. We were unstoppable and over the years became more and more powerful, but nothing, lasts forever. Fuhgeddaboudit…
Gameplay/Controls: I always dreamed about wearing the finest suits, driving the finest cars and owning the finest guns. Throughout my Empire Bay stay I accomplished just that; everything from the finest suits thanks to the clothing shops around the city, to the cars that…well, let’s face it– I took and made my own. And let’s not forget the girls, I’ve had my share of Empire Bay beauties, although not my priority, there were always plenty of Playboy magazine’s scattered around the city, covered with the best 1940’s-1950’s pin-up girls to remind me of the beauty Empire Bay offered — a serious treat if you like the 40’s and 50’s natural breasts and collectibles. Fuhgeddaboudit
Some of the weapons I came across were anywhere from a Colt M1911A1 to a Thompson 1928. Of course, I had many more, but these were two of my favorite. If I was lucky enough to find some grenades, I used them to take out a group of enemies.
I’m not going to lie; there is lots of space to drive in Empire Bay, so having a car is a must. Most of my time while in Empire Bay, I spent driving from point A to point B, although it might sound boring and unoriginal for a city and a man as myself, Empire Bay was not big enough to cause me to quit driving. My jobs alone made driving from point A to point B build anticipation for my next job, whether it was whacking someone or completing a transaction. Although I drove stolen vehicles, I always played it smart by taking them to the local auto shops to get them a new color and license plates and maybe some nice rims. When I had enough money, I even maxed the car’s performance with a high performance tune-up to outrun the cops. I kept my cars clean and kept them in my garage if I wanted to keep them for later use. All in all, my cars were precise and the city was easy to drive. Fuhgeddaboudit.
Graphics: Empire Bay is a beauty! Empire Bay is what every 1940’s -1950’s city should look like. It is a busy city, with tons of people walking around, hot dog stands, restaurants, and the best looking cars of that era passing by. I seriously couldn’t want my life to look and feel any better, the buildings were so detailed that I swore they were built by Martians from another planet. The snow fell off the cars as they drove away and reminded me of the holidays. During my jobs, I found that many of the people I dealt with, whether Italian, Asian or Black had their own unique styles. The only problem I found around Empire Bay when it came to the looks, were the amount of identical people walking around the city. I like’s me unique looking natural breasts girls. Fuhgeddaboudit
Sound: I tell you, 1940’s-1950’s is probably the best music ever. Empire Bay always had radios playing 40’s-50’s music and news reports of current events. While driving a car I had the chance to switch to some of our EB radio stations or just turn off the radio. I gotta tell you, I actually stayed sitting in my car after one of my jobs, just to listen to the song playing on the radio. The music is that good! The stations played everything from Chuck Berry, The Everly Brothers, Dean Martin, Little Richard, Muddy Waters, Buddy Holly & The Crickets, Bing Crosby, Bill Haley & His Comets and many more.
I have never liked fake people; I could easily tell if someone was trying to be someone else by the sound of their voice. At Empire Bay, everybody seemed real for the most part, there were a few occasions when I encountered some fake voice acting fellows.
Wishes: I really wish my life story in Empire Bay had been much longer and much deeper. I frankly felt that I could have done more with my life whether it was good or bad. Maybe added a few chapters to my life; more jobs, earned more money, met new people, had more adventurous times, you know? It felt as if I made it to the top for a short while, but never really stayed at the top, I was always working and doing for somebody else. Fuhgeddaboudit.
Final Verdict: By now you have read what my life was all about while in Empire Bay; I have catered to some of the most dangerous Italian made men and have sinned from my feet to my head. Real men play real games, and playing in Empire Bay is as real as it will ever get when it comes to the ways and habits of an Italian Mafia. If you want to experience what you only see in the movies, come to Empire Bay and be ready to worked yourself up to become a man – a made man. Fuhgeddaboudit.
(4/4.5 Michelas? What does this mean?) 4/4.5 Michelas is like drinking 4 of your favorite drinks, you are feeling amazing and socializing with everybody in your group. You are at the peek of your buzz and only 1 michela away from Perfection.
Reviewed on: Xbox 360
Developer: 2K Czech
Publisher: 2K Games
MSRP: $38.49 from Amazon